The Sex Toy Guide
Toys, unlike a certain breakfast cereal, these are NOT for kids
Let’s talk about toys, and I don’t mean dolls and fidget spinners, but the grown-up version of toys that brings a different kind of joy. Yes, that’s right we’re gonna talk about sex toys! And I’m not gonna lie, this is one of my favorite things to talk about with anyone who will listen. Which means that I have absolutely talked about sex toys with my mom and dad.
Now, sex toys have a lot of different names that you may have heard, for example: marital aids, bedroom accessories, erotic stimulators, intimacy enhancers, romance products and the list goes on and on. But no matter what you call them, you may have some questions or have no idea where to start if you are interested in selecting a sex toy for yourself or your partner/s. Well, stick around and read on! Hopefully you’ll get your questions answered and some guidance to learn what is right for you. And honestly you may learn that sex toys are not for you, and you know what? That’s okay!
First things first, who are sex toys for exactly?
Actually, let's back it up a bit there and define sex toys, so we know what I’ll be talking about for the rest of this post. According to dictionary.com a sex toy is an object used to provide or increase sexual pleasure, as a dildo or vibrator. Ok, that’s a pretty simple definition for something that can be very intimidating to add into a sexual routine. Don’t worry, I’m going to try my best to help quiet those intimidating thoughts by giving you the knowledge you need to make an informed decision about sex toys. So, back to my original question. Who are sex toys for? Everyone! That’s right, no matter your gender, sexuality, body type, or your relationship status, sex toys are for you! Or they can be if you decide they are right for you.
Ready to dive in? I am! So, let’s do it! Let’s talk about different types of sex toys. And there are a lot of different types so I’ll be focusing on some of the most popular options out there. And here we go!
Dildos
Often the words dildo and vibrator are used interchangeably, when in fact they are two different categories of toys. Here we’re talking about dildos, which have no motorized function and are typically made of a single type of material (which we’ll cover later when I talk about safety). Dildos are most often meant for penetration of the vagina, anus or mouth, to simulate penetrative sex. Dildos are often in the shape of a penis, but there are also other options available including, but not limited to, shapes to stimulate the g-spot, the prostate and other shapes to fulfill almost any fantasy you may have. Browse the internet with caution if you plan to look up what some of those fantasies may be.
Vibrators
A vibrators defining characteristic is that it vibrates/buzzes, or remains in motion while in use. Vibrators contain a motor and can use either disposable batteries or have rechargeable batteries. Vibrators have different speeds of vibration and pulse patterns available that vary from vibrator to vibrator. So it is important to keep that in mind when making a purchase. The good news is if you don’t know what you may like, many vibrators come with both pulsing and vibrating options.
Vibrators are great for use in full body massage and also great when used to stimulate sexual areas of the body. Vibrators have many variations and I’m sure I could write and write and write, but still come up short in covering them all. So, I am going to cover some of the more popular options here for you.
Masturbators
Now we’re on to a different category of sex toys, a masturbator. These types of sex toys are typically geared towards penis owners, as they are designed to slide over the penis to simulate penetration. Masturbators have vibrating and non-vibrating options, as well as have a variety of shapes (I know, you’re totally shocked that they vary). The shapes of masturbators often mimic the vagina or anus, or they can have no distinct shape, only bumps and ridges to enhance pleasure. There are also masturbators available for trans men!
Constriction Rings (C-Rings or Cock Rings)
As you can see constriction rings have a few names they answer to, like the nicknames we give to our friends (Yep, I compared c-rings to friends). Constriction rings are specifically designed for penis owners to be placed at the base of the penis, after an erection has occurred. The constriction ring will constrict the blood flow from leaving the penis to maintain longer and/or harder erections. Constriction rings have vibrating options as well, which can be great for male/female couples at play, as often the vibrating component is made to stimulate the clitoris of a partner. But these can be modified as well to enhance sexual pleasure for any couple or individual where a penis owner is present.
Plugs, Anal and Vaginal
Yes, you read that correctly there are both anal AND vaginal plugs available! Most people are familiar with anal or butt plugs, or at least the terminology. They are as the name implies, a plug for your butt (sex toy manufacturers try to keep it simple for us and we appreciate that). This sex toy is designed to be worn for long periods of time, fitting comfortably inside the anus. Butt plugs are often short and tapered at the top to accommodate this. Vaginal plugs serve the same purpose they are plugs that can be worn for long periods of time and have a similar shape. Some brands of vaginal plugs have a varied shape to accommodate the cervix.
Packers
A packer is similar to a prosthetic, it is made to look and feel like a real penis. Packers are typically soft, and help create a bulge in the wearers pants or underwear. Some packers are versatile and are able to be used during sex and sexual activity, but not all of them. They are used mainly to help affirm and express gender identity for many trans, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming individuals. So just like anyone else’s genitals, they aren’t always used for sex or sexual activity.
Restraints & BlinDfolds
Ok, hear me out! This option may not be something you’re interested in, if so skip ahead to the next topic. But if you are interested, hang out! There are many many options when it comes to venturing into the kink world, blindfolds are a great way to dip your toes in. Blindfolds take away one of our senses, and by doing that it heightens our other senses. Like touch!
Another way to ease into kink can be restraints, like cuffs. This is an easy way to add a different element to your sexual experience. Cuffs can be used on either wrists, ankles or both! Again these are simple ways that you can begin to explore into the world of kink and what it may offer. Other kink things that may be of interest include, impact play (floggers and paddles), gags for the mouth, and/or feathers. And like other sex toys this list could go on and on as well!
How do I choose what is right for me?
I realize that was A LOT of information that you just consumed, so how are you supposed to decide what is right for you? A big factor in assessing what sex toy may be right for you is knowing what you like already and basing your selection from that. For example, when masturbating you know you prefer clitoral stimulation over vaginal stimulation. A bullet would be a great sex toy to use for that stimulation. Another thing to consider when trying to decide what sex toy is right for you, will be who you will be using the sex toy with. Will it be for individual use? Use with a partner or partners? Or is it a gift for a partner? For instance, a male partner may buy a constriction ring for his male partner as a way to aid in the partner maintaining an erection longer. So, go with what you know and what you like. Or if you’re feeling adventurous try something new that seems like fun to you!
Sex Toys & Safety
Now let's get into how to keep yourself safe when it comes to sex toys. First let's talk about materials for sex toys, I told you I’d come back to it! When choosing a sex toy it is important to pay attention to the material that it is made from. The reason this is so important is that there are no safety regulations for the sex toy industry as the FDA considers them “novelties”. For more information about this, check out this blog post from Emily Lacy Therapy here.
You will want to choose a sex toy that is non-porous, such as 100% silicone (some silicone blends are porous), break-resistant glass, hard plastic, or metal (steel or aluminum). When you have a sex toy that is non-porous it helps prevent the buildup of bacteria that could be harmful to you. Even with regular cleaning a porous sex toy can hold on to bacteria.
Which brings me to cleaning and storing your sex toys. Cleaning is pretty simple. You will want to clean your sex toy before and after use, using warm water and a mild soap. There are also sex toy cleaners out there that can be used as well, this can be found either online or in a local sex shop. Store sex toys in a cool dry place, and if you are storing silicone toys do not store them together as silicone on silicone will break down, damaging both sex toys.
The last bit I want to say about safety has to do with lubrication. Lubrication is an important element when using toys, especially if you are using toys anally. The anus is not a self-lubricating orifice, therefore it may not be the best idea to go in without lubrication. Lubrication is also beneficial to preventing any unwanted tearing of the vagina or vaginal opening during use of sex toys. When using silicone toys, you will NOT want to use a silicone based lubricant as it can break down the sex toy! Water-based or creamy lubricants can be used instead. You can also use condoms to cover the toy if silicone lubricant works best for you.
We Made It To The End!
Whew, you made it! I told you I loved talking about sex toys. I hope you were able to find something beneficial from this blog. The world of sex toys is vast and this is only the tip of the iceberg. I hope you remain curious and try out something new from the knowledge you gained here!
